I heard a remarkable radio interview of a woman who experienced a brain hemorrhage. As a result, she went completely paralyzed in a matter of minutes, beginning with her fingers tips, then her arms, then her legs, and then suddenly, her mind. She described with amazing detail, how she lost the use and meaning of words. Her brain chatter ceased completely. In those moments, she did not know about the floor or the sun or the wind. Those things did not exist to her because her mind was totally void of language, like an animal or an infant. Yet, she came out of the episode and can still vividly recall the feeling in those moments. She fondly described a sense of calm and serenity. Nothing in her mind saying, "I'm tired, I hurt, I'm late, it's cold, the dog is barking, that is a wall, the clock is ticking, shut the door, what's going on?"
I envy that woman in those moments. Why can't I have an "off switch" for the words that torture my mind? I haven't practiced enough. I'll never accomplish my goals. I miss my family. There are others more talented, more driven than me. What are my future plans? What should I do? What am I doing? I'm a failure. I'm weak. I'm insignificant.
And just when my brain chatter threatens to overwhelm me to the point of no return, quietly and softly, I hear the sweetest words.
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." -Isaiah 41:10