Two heads are better than one, a good theory but one that took me a little while to admit its’ truth. When I was single, I had to figure everything out: bills, cell phones, apartments, car payments, maintenance and moving. I didn’t mind it because let’s face it, if you want something done right, it’s best to just do it yourself.
After I got married I held onto this attitude for a while. But once I started to give in, I found it remarkably comforting that I didn’t have to worry about everything all the time. It started small, pawning off the cell phone service to Eddie to figure out. Gradually it became more and more until we bought a house, and then it was really handy to have a partner help figure all that out.
Lately I’m discovering that even more reassuring than help with money issues and moving the furniture, is the small things that I appreciate the most. For the last 3 months, I’ve been alone, traveling in and out of the city, dragging bags of sheet music, microphone stands, amps, and video cameras on buses and subways. Tramping through the streets of New York City getting lost, getting scowled at, and getting tired. I’ve been lost, frustrated, nervous, and scared. I’ve sat in countless hours of traffic, on the bus and in my own car.
It will be nice to have help again. Even though I still have to perform alone and coax myself through the stage fright and social anxiety, at least he will be there. We can figure out the train schedule together while he carries the heavy equipment. I’ll have someone to talk to while I wait for the bus, and a shoulder to lay my head on as we make our way back home. Independence used to mean I had to do everything on my own, being married means I still can, but I don’t have to.