Saturday, November 6, 2010

Magical Moment 275, "Weight of the World"


I spent my drive home from work measuring the events of my day, placing them on a figurative scale and adding them up like Weight Watchers points. Let's just say that one side of the scale had a whole lot more stuff on it than the other.

First, it's drill weekend with the Army so my husband has been out of town for 2, going on 3 days. Next, I woke up late this morning and  rushed off to work without so much as a cup of coffee or breakfast. I also didn't have time to pack anything, so that meant I would go without a morsel of food all day until almost 5 pm. Then let's see. Oh yes, I got  pulled over. And then, oh right, I had an expired insurance card (by 6 days). Which inevitably led to me being late for work.

I had a monstrous 7 hours playing for ballet rehearsal today. I let my own self doubt and paranoia get the better of me again. It seemed like every song I played was the wrong style or tempo, and soon I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I didn't deserve to be there as a pianist. By the time I was finished, I had a pounding headache and my hunger was so strong I thought I might faint.

I dreaded driving home (being careful not to speed) to an empty house with no food. So 10 minutes from my drive way, I ordered Chinese take out from the place across the street from our apartment. I parked my car and walked over to pick it up. The smell of that sweet and sour chicken went on the other side of the scale. I walked in my front door to find the mail man had slipped the mail through the door slot. Netflix. That also went on the other side. Then Joy met me on the stairs with an insanely hyper greeting and I think that was the first time I smiled all day. And finally, after not hearing from Eddie for almost 2 days, he called.

I sat on the couch eating my crab rangoon, enjoying a movie, with Joy sitting quietly at my feet. I guess at the end of the day, it all evens out.