Skip to main content

Magical Moment 5, "A Little Joy"

I had a best friend for 14 years. Together we traveled the country, went for jogs, lived in 3 different states, and relaxed in the evenings. She was my dog, Duchess. I had her for over half of my life. I remember the happy, playful energy she possessed as a puppy. I remember the dread that I used to feel as she grew older, slower, and more and more tired, knowing the day would inevitably come when she was no longer there to listen to me practice the piano or walk with me to Dunkin Doughnuts to get my morning coffee.


One evening, I arrived home from a gig in the city to see Duchess in our living room slowly rise from her napping position on the floor to greet me at the top of the stairs. Each move as she unfolded her legs, propped herself up, and walked towards me was more deliberate and painful looking than usual. I ached for her and gave her a reassuring pet, then walked to the bedroom to put down my things.

When I came back into the living room, I was struck with terror at the site. Duchess was panting uncontrollably and I will never forget the glazed over look in her black eyes as I desperately tried to comfort her. Immediately, Eddie and I carried her to the car and drove to the nearest animal emergency room. I sat in the back seat with her head in my lap, stroking her narrow face as she struggled for each breath. It was rush hour in New Jersey on Route 17, Translation - backed up traffic for miles. My sense of panic and urgency was uncontrollable as Eddie weaved in and out of lanes making every effort to reach the hospital in time.

We were about 2 minutes from our destination – salvation in my mind – when my hand that was stroking Duchess’s chest and stomach no longer felt a heart beat. Her eyes were closed. She had stopped breathing. She was gone. Our frantic efforts had been in vain and we sat in the animal hospital parking lot grieving for our lost friend.

The next few weeks were difficult and strange. A member of my family no longer lived in my house. I no longer heard her footsteps behind me as I moved from room to room. I no longer walked in the morning to get my coffee because she wasn’t there, needing her morning exercise. I thought I would never get used to her not being with me.

After some more time had passed, my husband surprised me with a new, beautiful, baby Sheltie puppy. I found her hidden in the bathtub, curled up, waiting for me with a big red bow around her neck. I scooped her up with tears in my eyes knowing that I needed her, and she needed me. I named her Joy.
I’ve had Joy for a month and a half now. We have walked every day, traveled, and I even took her on her first jog with me (she doesn’t quite understand the concept yet). Between the potty training, the feedings, and the vet appointments, she has become my constant companion and comfort.

On days like today when I feel a little down and I miss my family, my husband, and my friends, she always makes me smile. When I am alone in my apartment, searching for gigs online, sending out headshots and resumes, and thinking success may never find me, she is there at the end of the day to lay her head in the crook of my arm, trustingly close her eyes, and release a tired sigh of contentment. Sometimes in order to heal, you just need a little Joy.

Comments

Debbie said…
I know that you will always miss Duchess, I really grew fond of her the times that I visited and she was always willing to go on a walk with me. I know that Joy will bring you much love and hopefully many years of comfort for you and Eddie.

Popular posts from this blog

Magical Moment 620, "Lilac Garden"

Eddie and I visited the Lilac Gardens at Ringwood Manor in New Jersey, a pristine and beautiful state park with 8 species of lilacs and several varieties within. We went on a rainy afternoon, which turned out perfect because the rain stopped for us when we got there, and began again as soon as we left. It also decorated the plants with gorgeous rain drops, adding to their beauty.  And now for a quick game of "Where's Elizabeth?" And "Where's Eddie?" ~~Have a great weekend! ~~

Magical Moment 625, "Thailand - the Elephants"

Needless to say, my favorite part of our Thailand vacation, was our week long volunteering at  Elephant Nature Park ! The logging industry was banned in Thailand in 1989, leaving thousands of elephants unemployed. These elephants are now used for tourism. You may have heard of elephant shows featuring the animals playing soccer or painting pictures with their trunks. They are no doubt amazing to watch, but the sad truth is that these elephants have gone through a series of torture and abuse to "break their spirit" by their trainers. This short clip is very hard to watch, but it will give you an idea of what the elephants in captivity in the country of Thailand go through. The only elephants in Thailand who do  not  endure this, are the very few baby elephants who are first generation born in "safe captivity" at places like Elephant Nature Park. Every other elephant at this park has been brutally abused. Some have been blinded by their owners, le

Magical Moment 606, "Thank You Canada!"

After an intense week as a participant in the  Musician's Mentorship Program  with Canada's National Ballet School in Toronto, I am back in the good ol' US of A. The trip was a success, not only did I learn a TON in the program, but I got to see Canada for the first time, increasing my number of countries visited to 3! (Mexico and South Korea, if you're wondering about the other 2). I was surrounded by incredibly talented musicians who didn't hesitate to dish out their best advice, tips, and secrets to me. In addition, I was surrounded by some beautiful scenery and amazing sights. The trip got even better when Eddie flew out to meet me half way through the week, and even BETTER when I was able to meet up with a friend, known only through the blogosphere until now. Yes ladies and gentlemen,  Hilary of The Smitten Image  herself happens to live only minutes from where I resided in Toronto. I admit, it was a little like meeting a celebrity. I first "met" Hi