Monday, June 28, 2010

Magical Moment 144, "Stuck in the Middle"

I’ve heard of “middle child syndrome,” where the middle born child struggles with achievement issues, gaining attention, and even forming relationships due to their birth order. I’m not a psychologist, but I am certainly a middle child, and not just by birth. I’m from the Midwest. Financially, I’ve always been middle class. I never got outstanding grades, but never horrible ones either. I’ve never been gorgeous, or ugly. Too skinny, or too fat. Too tall, or too short. Too successful, or a total failure. Even my musical ability, in the world of professional musicians is average. I recently took the LSAT exam and received a score in the, yep, in the 50th percentile. One of my favorite TV shows is “The Middle” for crying out loud.

Sometimes I do get frustrated with this pattern however because I feel like I put an enormous amount of effort and care in these things, and yet still come out no better or worse than anyone else - like an ear of corn growing among the thousands in a Nebraska field. I spent a large part of my life hiding from recognition and the spot light, which I’ve never been, and still am not comfortable with. But, I’ve always had the desire to make my mark, contribute, and exercise my passions and gifts that I’ve been given in a meaningful way.

I take comfort in the fact that there are certain things that give me distinction. One is my faith and the fact that the Creator of the universe has seen fit to save me. The other is my husband and family, who make me feel unconditionally loved and accepted. And when I look at it that way, I suddenly realize how incredibly rare that is, and just how lucky I am.

No comments: