It began before sunrise, when I awoke in a nervous fret. I often awake in nervous fret, for as soon as my brain wakes up, it begins to list all the things I need to do that day. The next day. In the next 5 years. What are my long term goals for life?! What about my future?!?! Seriously, I think about all this within the first few minutes I'm conscious while still lying in bed. It gets to be a problem sometimes.
But on this particular day, I had an important audition to worry about. One that I had been preparing for and hoping would go smoothly. Every minute until the scheduled appointment seemed to tick by in slow motion as I anticipated all it would entail. And then suddenly, for as long as I've dreaded today's audition, it was over in a matter of minutes. Or what seemed like mere seconds.
Instead of relief though, I felt like a deflated balloon. It didn't go bad, it just didn't go great. I was hoping for raving reviews and a job offer...or at least a word or two of positive feedback. Instead I got a "Thank you, we'll be in touch." I immediately had to drag myself to work where I played for ballet rehearsals, but my mind was elsewhere. The class seemed to drag on. The drive back home took forever. And even though technically the day was over, I still had to wait for Eddie to finish his shift at midnight.
For the first day of summer, I didn't feel the care-free things you're supposed to feel today. Instead, I felt that it was very literally, the longest day of the year!
But the nice thing about a long day, is when it's over. The sun goes down. My mind shuts down. And when I wake up in the morning, the days will go back to being normal.