After a crazy last few weeks, I’ve finally had a day to realize, “Hey, it’s 2011. I was supposed to make a New Year’s resolution a few days ago." Instead of coming up with a dozen that I know I’ll never keep, I’ve come up with only 2 and I believe they’re reasonable enough to accomplish. Number one, to take my multi-vitamin everyday. Simple, right? The second resolution, maybe not so much.
I have good friendships, and I’m grateful that once I find a good friend, I tend to hang onto that relationship for a very long time. It’s the making friends that seems to be difficult for me. In high school, I was pretty much a total wallflower and never felt like part of my student body until junior or senior year (and even then, I never went to prom or homecoming). Throughout four years of college, I finally warmed up to my classmates my senior year, and then we all graduated and moved away. And after four years in the Army, I felt close to a few fellow soldiers about 10 months before I got out. I decided that if I want a friend before waiting around four years in any one spot, I’m going to have to change my pattern.
Shy, self-conscience, introvert, homebody – all these terms describe me and make it difficult, challenging, even painful sometimes to get out of my comfort zone and make an effort to be social. When Eddie and I moved to New Jersey and searched for a new church to attend, visiting different churches was terrifying for me. I knew I would have to shake hands and tell strangers about myself. They would be looking at me, listening to me, and heaven forbid they invite us to dinner or something outrageous. I would have to down a whole bottle of Tums to get through that evening.
Yet, it’s difficult being in a fairly new place, and after having been here for over a year, I still have very few people I would call “friend.” Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” It sounds simple enough. I’m pleasant and polite to people I meet. But it takes more than that to form a real friendship.
So my New Year’s resolution this year, is to make a good friend. How I’ll go about it, I don’t know. But I have a feeling it will take a lot of effort on my part. A lot of trying new things and facing my insecurity and discomfort. And a lot of Tums.