Magical Moment 403, "All 'er Nuthin'"

I told Eddie when we met, "I'm kind of an all or nothing girl." That's probably why we got engaged 2 months after we started dating. For some reason, maybe it's genetic, maybe it's a brain abnormality, maybe it's psychological. Either way, I can't seem to do anything half way. It can't be in between. It can't be now and then. No half and half of anything will do. I can't just be in the Army, I have to be paratrooper and an officer. I can't just apply to graduate school. It has to be law school. I can't just record my songs, I have to record them in New York City. Anything less to me, is substandard.

It makes for some great experiences, some great personal goals, some great ambitions, but it really takes its toll in pressure. How much can one person take upon themselves? How much is too much? When can I be satisfied with my choices? This struggle is nothing new for me if you've read much of this blog. For me, everything goes back to myself. What I think of myself, what I want for myself, what I need for myself. I am the only one who makes choices difficult. I know my family and friends will support and love me unconditionally, it's only me that cannot be satisfied. So if I physically cannot do it all, how do I decide what to do? Build a dart board? Nail it to the wall? Hurl an arrow at it? I'm nearly to that point. Will I forever be "all or nothing," or will I learn to just be satisfied with what's within my limits?

"The only pressure I'm under, is the pressure I've put on myself." ~Mark Messier

Reflection by Elizabeth Grimes

A million eyes, all looking at me.

I’m terrified of what they might see.

It matters not how I hide, or where.

I can’t escape their watchful stare.

I try to move, but feel paralyzed.

And I’m pulled apart as I’m scrutinized.

Soon it changes, after a breath.

Now there’s only one spectator left.

I reach my hand to touch the cruel eyes

And suddenly realize I’d been seeing lies.

It was water I felt. People, none!

The ripples made thousands out of one.

Another truth! I see it clearer.

A crowd created by a broken mirror.

It’s only me, and was all along.

I’m the only one who needs to like my song.

Magical Moment 625, "Thailand - the Elephants"

Needless to say, my favorite part of our Thailand vacation, was our week long volunteering at Elephant Nature Park ! The logging industry was banned in Thailand in 1989, leaving thousands of elephants unemployed. These elephants are now used for tourism. You may have heard of elephant shows featuring the animals playing soccer or painting pictures with their trunks. They are no doubt amazing to watch, but the sad truth is that these elephants have gone through a series of torture and abuse to "break their spirit" by their trainers. This short clip is very hard to watch, but it will give you an idea of what the elephants in captivity in the country of Thailand go through. The only elephants in Thailand who do not endure this, are the very few baby elephants who are first generation born in "safe captivity" at places like Elephant Nature Park. Every other elephant at this park has been brutally abused. Some have been blinded by their owners, le...

Magical Moment 620, "Lilac Garden"

Eddie and I visited the Lilac Gardens at Ringwood Manor in New Jersey, a pristine and beautiful state park with 8 species of lilacs and several varieties within. We went on a rainy afternoon, which turned out perfect because the rain stopped for us when we got there, and began again as soon as we left. It also decorated the plants with gorgeous rain drops, adding to their beauty. And now for a quick game of "Where's Elizabeth?" And "Where's Eddie?" ~~Have a great weekend! ~~

Magical Moment 280, "The Eleventh Hour"

The Veterans Day Parade, NYC On July 29, 2001 , five exceptional men were honored by the President of the United States for their remarkable military service. They were involved in a top secret mission that required unfathomable intelligence and as a result, literally won a battle which was instrumental in winning the war. Not the war that was happening in 2001, not even the Gulf War. It was World War II, and they were the Navajo Code Talkers who were largely responsible for winning the bloody battle of Okinawa. The only problem with the ceremony was that just 5 remained of the original 29. Our country was too late in thanking the other 24, and nearly too late in thanking those 5 men. On March 10, 2010, three hundred women won the Congressional Gold medal for their outstanding war service. Unfortunately, 800 received the award posthumously. These were the Women Airforce Service Pilots (WASP) of World War II, who devoted themselves to flying military aircraft like the B-26 and B-...

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