Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Magical Moment 335, "Accepted"

When I checked the mail today, I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Months ago, I took the LSAT and applied to several Law Schools and have been waiting for a letter, any letter, to let me know the outcome. 

The decision to take the LSAT was one of careful thought and enormous commitment. I studied for hours a day, driving myself to near insanity with practice tests, and still inwardly scolding myself for not studying even more. The test day was agony. I was literally physically ill with anxiety. The night before, I got no sleep at all, and the day of the test, I was light headed and shaky. I was absolutely terrified that all my hours of study would be for nothing, and I had to wait a dreadful 3 weeks to find out for sure. To my relief, my score was reasonable, not quite what I hoped for, but enough. I gathered everything needed to apply to Law School, and submitted all requirements to 3 law schools. After that, I put the matter out of my mind. I had done all I could, and to the best of my ability. I vowed I would not give it another thought or worry until I saw a professional-looking letter in the mail from one of those 3 schools. Today was that day.

It was from Touro College Jacob D. Fuchsberg Law Center on Long Island. I looked at the manila envelope for a moment, wondering if I should wait til Eddie gets home. I didn't know if I could bear a rejection by myself. But I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else until I read it. That's when I began tearing into it like a kid on Christmas morning - only for this kid, the surprise was either a brand new bike, or a lump of coal and I was equally terrified and excited at the prospect of finding out which. It was a bike. A shiny, beautiful, new bike. I shocked myself when I discovered I had small tears of relief and joy in my eyes. All that work, all that commitment, had paid off after all. 

I still don't know what the future holds for me. For some reason, God has seen fit to place an overwhelming load of ambitions, passions, goals, and desires in my heart, and yet I know I'm only human and cannot do them all. I am grateful beyond words for this opportunity and I prayerfully await guidance for the next step in my future